“Where the heck are my glasses?! Oh wait, I’m wearing them.” — This is me a few days ago. Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation when you did something so dumb? Not only you, but I believe that many people out there, even the brightest of us, are also not immune to doing dumb things at times. Call it a brain fart, a fog in the decision-making department, an illogical inclination, or a momentary mentality of “whatever happens, happens” where, for a split second, everything sort of makes sense, even the things that generally don’t.
So when someone asked the Reddit community “What did you do that made you question your own intelligence?” unbeknownst to them, members of r/AskReddit bombarded the thread with over 13k comments in which they shared their most entertaining stories. And we have collected some of the best. Basically, below is one hell of a ride, both hilarious and very relatable. Scroll down to check them out.
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“I realized this year that pufferfish fill themselves with water when they expand instead of air… I’m 25”
#2. Pretty much
“A couple months ago, my husband and I went on a walk. There are a lot of trails where we live and a couple of lakes. So we walked down a trail to the lake, turned left up another trail, and ended up at the top of a street. We start walking down the street and I realize there is a house that has a wishing well in their front yard like we do. I point it out to my husband and then I realize they have the same truck we do, too. I point out the truck and then I realize that we were in front of our own house. It wasn’t my brightest moment.”
#3. When you realize that one “m” cookie cutter can cut out multiple cookies
“I wanted to make cookies for my mom that spelled “mom” and I ordered one “o” and two “m” cookie cutters.”
#4. This one wins
“Made some soup on the stove in a saucepan and poured it into a bowl and some of the soup dripped down the side of the boiling saucepan so I licked it.”
#5. That might be painful
“I was in class one day messing around with my stapler.
“I wonder what’ll happen if I staple my finger.” *Staples finger.”
“Huh. I don’t know what I expected.”
Edit: I feel I should mention I was 16 when this happened.”
#6. As long as you don’t touch the glue…
“Three times now, I have taken the cap off of a tube of super glue and put it in my mouth to hold it. Three. Times.”
#7. That’s not stupidity… That’s science!
“Once I picked up a lemon, wondered “do lemons bounce?”, and immediately threw it on the ground.
It was the last lemon.
They don’t bounce.”
#8. Guess whether they were annoyed?
“Phoned the police to report my car stolen after being unable to find it after a shopping trip.
As I was on the phone I looked around idly, at which point I spotted my girlfriend’s car. I’d borrowed it. Mine was in the garage for an MOT.”
#9. Well, good job!!
“Worked in kitchens for over a decade. Put a metal pan in the microwave to heat something up.”
#10. Blue eyes
“One time I was thinking about aqua from Konosuba and I thought “natural blue hair isn’t real, but what about blue eyes?”
I have blue eyes.
I have blue eyes and I was questioning their existence.”
#11. That’s great, haha!
“Had a biscuit in hand and the ear phone in the other. Put the biscuit in ear and ear phone in mouth. At work. Why must I be such a disappointment?”
#12. At least it didn’t go in your mouth the other way
“Wanted to light a candle. Struck a match. Changed my mind about which candle I wanted to light, and decided to light a Yankee jar candle instead. Couldn’t get the lid off with one hand. Stuck the lit match in my mouth so I could use both hands to get the lid off.
Couldn’t smell the scented candle.
Could only smell singed nose hair for days.”
“One morning my vision was all blurry so I started freaking out and called my grandma to take me to the doctor. Then like 20 minutes later realized I just forgot to put my glasses on. I’ve worn them since 1st grade and totally forgot for half an hour.”
#14. Everyone has a brainfart once in a while
“I once threw a stone high in the air directly above me. Absolutely no reason for that, just because I could I guess. Instead of walking away, I kept standing there, looking at the stone falling down until it was too late to move. I still managed to put my hands up protecting my head, hurt a lot anyway.
I don’t think I’ll ever win a Nobel prize.”
#15. Laundry issue
“Was folding laundry one afternoon.
Picked up a white shirt with some faded grey letters, looked very vintage. Had a black collar. I’m looking at this shirt and see the letters are in some kind of weird font/ language.
It looks like the Elf language from LOTR in font and German lettering, with lots of diaeresis and vaguely familiar letters.
So I’m standing there for like 5 minutes, closely studying this damn shirt trying to figure out WTF language this is, even asking my boyfriend if he knows where he got this shirt (is it a band name? gift from someone’s vacation overseas?) I mean I’m going crazy trying to figure it out, this familiar yet never before seen language.
Turns out it was an American Eagle shirt inside out…”
#16. “This is a truly impressive level of localized idiocy”
“I have a key fob for my car. It’s set up so that if you hit the lock button once, it locks the car. If you hit the same lock button again, it locks it again and honks the horn so you know you’ve locked it for sure. The thing is, I always want to make super sure that it’s locked, but sometimes I come home to my condo super late, and my parking spot is right under someone else’s window. I noticed that if the key fob was farther away from the car when I hit the button twice, the honk was not as loud. So out of consideration, I would always wait til I was halfway up the stairs to do the double lock honk. What a great neighbor I am!
Anyway, after maybe 2+ years of doing this, one time my girlfriend and I were in my condo and I realized I needed something out of my car. So I go down there but when I get there I realize I had forgotten my keys. Well, I had my phone, so I called my girlfriend and asked if she would stick her arm out the window with the key fob and unlock my car. She mistakenly hit the lock button twice and my car honked. Really loudly! Even though she was all the way up on the third floor!
It was only then I realized…the honk was always the same. It only sounded softer when I was farther away…because I was farther away.
I have a master’s degree…”