And if you’re the impatient/piratical sort, you may have already played the game because it was leaked ten days shy of its official release date.
Since launching in the year of our lord 1986, “Legend of Zelda,” (LoZ for you Nintendo sluts) has gone on to become one of the most successful video game franchises in geek history with nineteen entries, an animated tv show, manga adaptations and the crushed dream of a live action Netflix series.
The game centers on the adventures of the left handed, green rocking, mute elven hero Link and the prophetic Princess Zelda, a reincarnated goddess as they fight for home, heart and Hyrule against the super villain demon king narcissist Ganon who wants to remake the world in his own evil image.
Primed for release May 12th, “The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom,” is the sequel to 2017’s “Breath of the Wild,” and is set in the vast expanse of Hyrule and among the strange islands that float above it.
Celeb LoZ stans include Randy Orton, Ronda Rousey and Robin Williams who named his daughter Zelda after the game’s titular character.
Of its latest iteration, Nintendo asks, “Can you harness the power of Link’s new abilities to fight back against the malevolent forces that threaten the kingdom?”
We trust you can folks, but remember, “It’s dangerous to go alone,” so take this handy guide to the zodiac signs as Zelda characters. Read on to learn more and be sure to check out our zodiac rundown of the Super Mario Bros.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Tulin
As the first born sign in the zodiac, there is a brave, fledgling, easily excitable innocence to the Aries spirit. All things are new to them and everything seems possible, they greet challenge with enthusiasm and view set backs as fuel. We see these qualities expressed in the wet behind the ears but ever ready for battle energy of beak and bow bearing hero in training, Tulin.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
Impa
Taurus folk appreciate nice garments, a long tedious quest and the ability to live and work in nature, all hallmarks of the character ark of Impa. Bulls are wise, formidable when called to be, slow to action or anger, patient and powerful and a tempering force in the lives of others. Impa is described as such by her elder sister Purah, “She’s incredibly responsible, but at what cost? She’s wound waaaay too tight, if ya ask me. I’m the type that charges ahead once I’m inspired! Impa prefers to wait and see. But mostly wait and wait and wait. Basically, she’s the one who puts a stop to some of my crazier antics.”
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Tingle
A map making, catchphrase wielding, deal making, underwear as outerwear rocking, youthful trickster prone to floatation of the literal and metaphorical variety, friendly fan favorite Tingle is unquestionably a Gemini.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Princess Zelda
Cancer represents the divine feminine and the archetype of the mother and Zelda is the incarnation of a female deity whose powers have been passed down to her through matrilineal descent. It tracks. Cancers are often remembered for their sensitivity but as Zelda perennially proves, they are equally imbued with strength and the true spirit of survival. Burdened by guilt, prone to martyrdom and imbued with magic, Zelda represents the holy trinity of cardinal water.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Lady Makeela Riju
Leo is the sign of royalty and as ruler of the fifth house of pleasure and play, synonymous with the inner child. Chieftainess Lady Makeela Riju, a youthful, enthusiastic ruler with the most impressive headwear of any character, occupies a throne by day but looks forward to the setting sun and her nightly retreat into the private company of stuffed animals and her own imagination. She is a capable leader, who, like most Leos, puts out the vibe that they would rather be partying than governing.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Link
A dutiful creature of few words, humble bearing and many challenges, Link is emblematic of the Virgo spirit. Virgo rules the sixth house of service and as such is enlivened by purpose and the need to feel needed. In terms of modalities, Virgo is mutable earth and Link operates as the ever flexible avatar to Zelda’s legion of players. In “Breath of the Wild,” Zelda’s diary explains why Link rarely speaks, revealing that he thinks it is “necessary to stay strong and to silently bear any burden,” the guiding principle of many a Virgo like him.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Agahnim
Libra is the sign of partnership and as such is represented by the scales and balances. The sun is in fall in Libra, and as the only sign in the zodiac represented by an inanimate object, natives require the influence, impetus or activation of another person or force to take action. Enter Star Trek headband wearing, gray clawed Agahnim who operates as the evil doing avatar of Ganondorf. Runner up is Mipha who shows the sunnier side of the Libra archetype and her Venusian nature by being lovingly devoted to Link and making our man a set of marital armor, an apt metaphor for relationships in all realms.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
Midna
Ruled by Pluto, the planet of death named for the Roman god of the underworld, Scorpio folk have no fear of the dark and share a deep affinity for shadows. Enter Twilight Princess Midna who initially speaks only in cryptic hints, rules over a nighttime kingdom and wears a hooded cloak. Like many Scorpios upon first impression, Midna seems like a self-serving loner type but further investigation and following a few tests of mettle and a martyr move by Zelda, Midna reveals she is immensely compassionate and loyal, willing to go to great lengths to do right by those she deems worthy.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
Prince Sidon
Prince Sidon is an unflappable, ceaselessly optimistic youngest son who leads by example when it comes to keeping on the sunny side; even as his kingdom is plunged into disorder and suffering. A capable warrior with a formidable fan club, Sidon is representative of the buoyant spirit of Sagittarius and the effervescent kid brother/boderline toxic positivity vibe they emit
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Ganondorf
In the Major Arcana of the tarot, Capricorn is represented by the Devil card. Apropos of this probable, sea goat Ganondorf is a reincarnated demon king narcissist hell bent on recreating the world in his broken image. Cheerful. Caps are strivers, builders, strategists and doers that are ever looking to get to the top and be the best they can be. Yet, when their pinnacle is absolute power and their peak is ruthless rulership their means get ugly, their greed goes deep and they become incorrigible, punishing and the very prototype for villainhood.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Happy Mask Salesman
A fixed air sign represented by the mythical water bearer, Aquarius is the uncontested cult leader/snake oil salesman of the zodiac. In kind, or cult as it were, the joy promising, questionably intentioned Happy Mask Salesman fits the vibe of a sinister peddler. Aquarians, with their objectivity and dual rulership are hard to define and even harder to get to know, often wearing metaphorical masks that protect their true identities, a point made manifest in HMS.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Skull Kid
Pisces people are ruled by Neptune, planet of imagination, deception and escape. As such, they are always seeking trap doors, liminal spaces, disassociation and the outer edges of reality. Fittingly, and according to LoZ lore, Skull Kids were children who got lost in the forest and were transformed into imp like creatures with a taste for mischief and the ability to teleport. Like most Pisceans Skull Kid likes a group sing along and is highly suceptable to the influence of others. Further, Pisces are known to fall in love easily and the preferred currency of Skull Kids is Pieces of Heart.
