A man discovered a secret about his wife's finances, leaving him feeling betrayed.
The man found out that his wife, who was originally born overseas, had a hidden bank account in her home country containing approximately $70,000 AUD (around £35,000) in savings. As far as he knows, he and his wife have been together for 20 years.
Seeking advice, he wrote to 'Relationship Rehab' - a feature on News.com.au - to find a resolution to this unsettling situation.
He said: “I recently found out my wife of 20 years - who was originally born overseas - has a bank account in her home country with about $70,000 AUD [around £35,000] in savings."
“The cash came from her own inheritance after her parents passed, and she insists she wants to use it on holidays we can enjoy together in the future, but I can’t help feeling uneasy about it because it was kept a secret for so long, because she never discussed her plans for the money with me and because as far as I know, I have no access to the money if something terrible were to suddenly happen to her."
“Our incomes have always been communal money used for the whole family, and now I feel betrayed.”
He asked: “Do I just have to suck it up, or should that cash be shared?”
The expert, Isiah McKimmie offered her insights to provide clarity to the man's situation. The expert acknowledged that couples have various ways of handling their finances, and it's understandable why this discovery feels like a betrayal to him.
However, she pointed out that the real issue lies not in how they choose to spend the money but in the lack of honesty within their relationship.
“I’m confused about why your wife would keep this a secret from you - as, I’m sure, are you. I can’t help but wonder what else is going on here.”
According to McKimmie, couples often choose different financial approaches, with some opting to share everything while others keep some separation or maintain some financial independence.
She admitted that not everyone may agree, but she understands why some individuals, especially women, choose to keep their money separate while in a relationship.
Her ultimate advice was to have an open and honest conversation about the situation, even if they decide to maintain separate finances. Communication and transparency are key to addressing any concerns or feelings of betrayal.
